I sat in the plane and felt my emotions. What kind of reaction would I get? How chaotic and strong would my reactions be?
I actually sat and was afraid of my own feelings.
About nine thirty local time, we landed at Beijing airport and were greeted by our Chinese guide Tian Li, or Lily, as we immediately called her. She waved at us with a Norwegian flag and a sign saying Tore on the track. Just behind her stood a serious man. He turned out to be an emissary from the Ministry of Radio, Film and Television, and he was to be with us for the whole journey.
His name was Mr Lee.
It was very hot outside — early morning and already close to 30° C. Lily led us through the terminal building and over to an old bus. We got placed in it, and then the trip went into the city centre. Since it was so early in the day, our hotel rooms weren't ready yet — so we just had to make something up while we waited.
Jinglun Hotel was a luxury hotel, and I quickly found a kiosk that sold cards and a bank counter that exchanged money.
I did a little shopping until half past eleven and we took a rest. It was needed, because I had slept only one hour on the whole flight and was quite tired. We had agreed to meet in a couple of hours and then take a trip to the Forbidden City. It was truly an incredible place—magnificent and wonderful. What a strange life they must have lived there locked behind the walls of a palace that consisted of 9999 rooms.
Tore tried to ask me some questions while we strolled in here, but it wasn't easy. I remember him saying: "We can still turn around and go back home." But I thought that if I had come this far, I should at least not turn back! We ended the evening at a small cafe in an alley by the hotel. We ate sweet and sour pork fillet and drank cold beer. It tasted really good.
That night I really caught up and slept for 12 hours. The breakfast was fabulous. It was 32 degrees outside, and Tore was already early looking for money. He had found out that they had miscalculated and received far too little money. The first major item of expenditure that no one knew about was Mr. Lee, who was supposed to have 18,000 yuan for a film permit in China. (1 yuan = approx. 1 kroner). The plan for this day was a visit to the Great Wall of China.
We first drove a couple of hours by bus out into the country, towards the mountains in the north. Then it was a short distance on foot.
We were offered a wheelchair, but declined. Then we got up to the gondola lift.
My thoughts went to my mother who had taken the same trip 60 years ago. She probably wasn't offered either a wheelchair or a gondola lift - she probably had to walk on her own two feet. I was even more impressed when I thought that she was pregnant on that trip. So high and steep in such a state! Quite an achievement.
The Great Wall of China is a fantastic structure.
The wall was also a fantastic construction. It was between 6 and 11 metres high and as wide as a street. At regular intervals we had to pass a tower. In some places, stairs led down to gates where you could go out. The heat was incredible. Luckily, we had water with us, but I was sweating profusely. All the liquid came out as sweat, so I didn't feel the urge to pee, thankfully!
We met three or four Swedes and a group of Danish ladies who had celebrated a 40th birthday. What a fun idea! Would have liked to celebrate my 70th birthday with a champagne party at Muren.
Something to think about!
The wall wound over the highest peaks as far as the eye could see. As Tore said: "Impressive is probably just the first name!"
After dinner at the hotel, we plunged into bed. We were to get up at five o'clock the next day to leave for Weifang at six o'clock.
When I went to bed that night, I was thinking about what I had said on the plane that I didn't remember. Now the memories came flooding back. For example, the sight of the donkeys along the road made me remember that we had used a lot of different means of transportation — donkeys, carts, rickshaws (bicycle taxis), wheelbarrows and trucks.
A lot of strange thoughts swirled around in my head. Mother must have told more than I thought about anyway. Once she said that she had to go out to a field to do what was necessary.
She was barely done when she saw a farmer come running with a shovel to take care of the valuable and fresh dung!
On the bus on the way back to the city, I heard that Tore was talking to some priest. He didn't tell me what it was about then, but maybe it had something to do with father's grave.
Early Thursday morning we stood outside the hotel before six o'clock waiting for the bus to go to the airport. Lily came, but we waited in vain for the bus and Mr. Lee. It was half past seven before he arrived, and then he arrived without the bus. At full speed, we got hold of a couple of taxis, and luckily there was little traffic this early in the morning, because we were driving at 150 km an hour, and it was pretty cool.
At the airport, we passed various security systems and showed our passports two or three times before we sank into a seat at the exit. Tension in everyday life is called this. Yes, yes, at least we made it. At eight o'clock we were well on board and were served fresh newspapers and a warm, damp terry cloth. It felt good!
On the airport bus, Lily got into a conversation with three men. They were all from Weifang, and the eldest could remember that there had been a prison camp there during the war. So we were on the right track.
As we walked down the flight stairs at Weifang Airport, the tears came pouring down. Think, now I was back. The thoughts became too many. Inside the arrivals hall we met armed guards, then it really got too strong. Tore seemed worried and tried to ask me some questions, but it was completely impossible for me to answer - the lump in my throat was too big. Tore wondered if I wanted to turn around, but, of course, I didn't.
On the way to the hotel, we saw farmers drying their grain on the asphalt. It was not legal, but very practical.
We arrived at the hotel. It was really luxurious and was located in the middle of a kind of Disneyworld. In the hall, there was an artificial waterfall, and long dragons hung from the ceiling. Lots of artificial flowers made the impression perfect. This was indeed quite a contrast to what I left in 1945.
Lunch on this day was a chapter in itself. In the middle of the table was a rotating disk, and on top of it were all the world's dishes: meat, fish, grated carrots, cucumber and beans. Then it was just a matter of getting started with the chopsticks. It was a delicious meal.
Suddenly the thought of what lay ahead came to me, and it bothered me. My knees were shaking, my heart was pounding and my fingers were icy cold, despite the outside temperature being 34 degrees.
After lunch came the moment, I had been looking forward to and dreading. Now the trip went to Weihsien camp.
We strolled around a bit. Tore describes how we experienced it: "Only two of the buildings from the camp have been preserved, but we could find both the roll-call square and a bit of the surrounding wall. It was here that Inger Danielsen and her daughter AnWei spent two years in captivity. This meeting was hard for AnWei. The tears were allowed to flow freely. She tries to enter one of the houses, but quickly returns. I stay in the sun and hold her. The emotions she is going through now can only be understood by those who have experienced something similar. Now the dam is bursting.
The memories she has tried to suppress before come back in full force.
It was here that she saw a boy killed on the electric fence as he was going to retrieve a ball of cloth. It was here that the Japanese soldiers forced her to stand for hours.
It was here that they threatened her with guns and dogs if she did not do as they commanded. It was here that she scratched herself to the point of blood due to lice. A little girl just three years old.
Why? Why? Why?" asks Tore.
A school for young people had been built on the site, so we met many young people. We were invited in to see the headmaster, and he showed me the prisoner lists. I found many familiar names: Reichelt, Nordmo, Torjesen and Helsby. It was strange.
During our entire stay in the prison camp, mother and I had a Norwegian flag that was always displayed. I now handed this flag to the headmaster. He accepted it and said he would put it in the memory room with all the other artefacts.
After this we went for a walk to the memory room. The most interesting thing was that there was a large map with explanations. It gave me some input. Just outside the memory room, I had a strong encounter with a wall. It was both painful and good to relocate myself in what was left of the camp.
Lots of emotions released.
We took a trip to the roll-call square, which was now the school's sports field. Here I told Tore a couple of episodes that I remembered. But where was the big hospital? We learned that it was on the other side of the fence, but we had to bring an acquaintance with us. Someone or other got hold of the hospital director, and unlike the rector, this was someone who knew the story. He showed us the remains of our barracks, and then the hospital. It was rather dilapidated, but it was to be restored, he said.
Here I found "my staircase". Here I was allowed to sit down and let the memories flow. How strangely small the stairs had become - or maybe it was me who had grown big? It was strange anyway.
This area had now become a nursery school. The name was Children's Paradise, of all things. A bit of a paradox. In the evening we were invited out for dinner. Present were Mr. Lee, the local guide Mr. Leo, the local council chief, our driver — whom we had named Ørjan because of his strange ear lobes! —, Lily and the four of us. We were considered very important guests, me in particular, and therefore we were served seafood, which was unusual and fine food in this region. There were, for example, several dishes of squid, whole fish, baked fish, fried prawns and various vegetable dishes. There were at least 20-25 different dishes. We were given a local drink to toast in. It was strong as death and tasted like python. But you have to follow local customs.
Fortunately, we got good beer to swallow down. As a gift from the town, we each got our own kite. The city of Weifang is famous for its international dragon kite festivals.
By the way, I completely forgot to mention that we visited a dragon kite museum. Fantastic kites were on display. It must be quite a sight when the air above the city is full of these dragons.
This evening we also visited a street market. There was a bustling public life, and we discovered that karaoke was the number one popular entertainment. It was happening everywhere. People turned, stopped and stared uncontrollably as I strolled across the street. Such a tall fair lady and not least my grey, curly hair caused a huge stir.
I slept pretty well that night. But Tore's words when we met for breakfast told me that I probably bore the mark of what I had been through: "You look like you're not feeling well today—what do you want us to do today?"
I asked if we could take a trip out to the hospital again.
It would have been good to sit there without the long entourage of public figures and other dignitaries. Just me, the silence and my memories!
"Of course," said Tore, "we must be able to arrange that."
So a little later in the day, after a simple lunch (only 9-10 dishes), we drove out towards the hospital. But this time we came in from the opposite direction, and then, suddenly the pieces fell into place. We entered the gate which for three years was the greatest terror of my life. The ground down to the gate was there — everything was right.
On this picture,
the stairs
I had
climbed so many
times as a child. Now I sit, just in silence, while
the memories come back.
Then I was allowed to crawl in place on the hospital stairs.
The stairs I walked so many times. There I was once again allowed to be Little Goldilocks who cried out in such unimaginable pain. It took me quite a while to calm down. (TTT, Things take time.)
But I sat and let the thoughts come while the tears flowed.
It gave peace of mind. Once again I felt that tears act like balm on a wounded mind. Gorgeous. This was huge and hard to fathom.
This visit gave me new courage to continue the journey, whatever may come our way.
After this, we went for a little stroll in the city, as well as a little trip by rickshaw. In the crazy traffic, the trip was downright dangerous. But it was fun to have tried.
At the beginning of the shopping street stood a couple selling something strange. I asked Mr. Leo what it was and was told that it was a local dish that was eaten in honour of a famous local poet who in his time took his own life. Mr. Leo bought me two of these. I took them to the hotel room, photographed them, examined them, barely tasted them and threw them in the trash. I was afraid of getting diarrhoea. They consisted of boiled rice and dates wrapped in banana leaves.
Dinner this evening was eaten in the hotel's restaurant, while we watched the Fashion show together with Ørjan and the others from Weifang. They were to both stay and eat at the hotel at our expense, even though they had their home in the city.
Yeah, yeah, talk about settling down.
Tore was probably getting used to having to pay for everything.
When I came up to my room that evening, I was told that: "Your husband has called — please call back". Of course, I tried once more to call Frithjof's home, but like all the other times, there was only a beep, beep. I went down to reception, but was sent on to the "business centre" to get help. Here, too, there was no help to be had - the English skills were sparse. She still managed to procure a man who at least knew a few words in English. With his help I was able to get in touch, but unfortunately only a mobile phone answer. I left a long message and asked him to call me back. I barely made it up to the ninth floor to my room before the phone rang. Oh, how good it was to hear his voice and that he missed me. He was very happy when I could tell that we would return home a day earlier.
After this conversation I decided to take a hot bubble bath. The fact that the water was brown and that it looked mostly like a mud bath didn't matter. It was still delicious.
Slept well afterwards.
The next morning I woke up to another day of glorious sunshine. The calendar showed June 14, and it was my 57th birthday.
Hutte! Yes, yes, the consolation was that Frithjof had said it was a good age.
After a delicious breakfast, we drove the highway to Jinan, a drive of approx. two and a half hours. We were going to an airport and then going further south. Incredible distances! I had to think that mother and father walked these distances 60 years ago.
Out in the fields, the farmers harvested grain in the fine weather.
Jinan—the city we were going to—was the provincial capital. Weifang was just a small city with a population of 1.8 million. On the way we passed quite a few lorries whose engines had stopped. Most amusing was seeing the engine box open and one or two men squatting on top of the edge, while they were messing around in the engine. By the way, people were squatting everywhere, whether it was on the train, on the pavement or out in the fields. By the way, I remember that as a child I always squatted down when I had to rest!
The landscape we drove through was completely different to that around Beijing. There were high mountains and deep valleys, here it was completely flat and endless lands as far as you could see in the mist.
After we had driven for an hour and a half, the scenery began to change. Then we saw flat lands, small houses and high mountains.
When we were waiting at the airport in Jinan, Torstein brought some cans of Coke, and I was duly congratulated. We hugged and toasted in Coke — it was really fun.
I had no idea that the Chinese understood what was going on, but I was to discover that later.
I'll tell you about that later.
Here we have to take things in the right order!
The journey from Jinan with Shandong Airlines took approx. Fifty minutes. We flew with a small propeller plane with room for 36 people. We were served lunch on board — a strangely complex meal. No idea what it was, but it tasted good. The coffee — served with milk and sugar — was great.
The landing was quite a strange experience, but we made it down well. The airport was tiny. When we entered the arrivals hall, people stood staring with wide eyes and half-open mouths. We realised the reason when we were welcomed by two solemn men with a stern look.
One was one of the top brass in China Central Television and the other a local political dignitary.
The cars waiting for us were big, black and polished. One was a large Toyota, the other a local car with the national Red Flag. Before us we now had a trip of three and a half hours. But before we get started, I have to tell you about my encounter with the sanitary facility at the airport. I had the way to the washing room explained. There I found two old-fashioned zinc basins with cold water springs. The WC was two cubicles without a door and with one metre high walls all around, and it consisted of a hole in the floor.
Really good that I just had to pee.
Impossible to squat in the open like at an exhibition, and get anything else done!
Then we spilled into the cars. These were equipped with various types of horns and sirens which were frequently used if someone was slow to get away. The driver was driving wildly; he passed on the left as well as on the right. On the motorway it went smoothly at 150 km per hour, while we lingered for approx. One hundred kilometres per hour on heavily trafficked, local roads.
Now we were so far out in the country that we expected to find a country boarding house where we could spend the night. But no, a new hotel awaited us. Admittedly, there was quite a bit of discussion when we arrived. I had no idea what it was all about, but Tore had to pay a large sum in deposit at reception, and they wanted even more. He tried to find out why. Then he found out that the staff were simply terrified of us making international calls from the room phones. Then Tore asked them to remove the phones from the rooms and said that we had no plans to call abroad. Then suddenly everything was in order, and we released the deposit.
We sat down at the bar while we waited for all this to settle. We tried to get hold of some beer, but when it arrived, it was at room temperature: 20 degrees. We tried to explain cold beer, but he didn't understand what we meant, because in China you shouldn't drink anything cold if it's hot outside. But to satisfy these strange foreigners he brought a bucket of ice cubes.
For the first time, we drank beer with ice cubes in it. Not the best we had tasted, but it was good in the heat.
The authorities invited us to dinner at 7 p.m. As usual, Tore brought gifts for the official authorities. Many people in China probably walk around with yellow Tore T-shirts.
Dinner was served in a room next to the hotel. Here it was set for eight around a round table. We were welcomed, I especially.
I found out that the manager had called the hotel from the car and told me that it was my birthday that day. So the lights went out, and the waitress came in with a huge cake with six candles on it. It was beautifully decorated, and I had to cut myself with a huge machete knife after I had blown out the candles. Then they stood up and sang the birthday song to me in English and Chinese. Then there were gift presentations.
From Tore and the rest of the gang, I got a silk-lined box with 12 lovely porcelain bowls. They all had the Chinese characters for which year one was born. As you know, I'm a dragon.
Tore = mouse, Harald = goat and Torstein = snake.
Then we were permitted to finally start eating. There was an incredible amount of good food — I came out of the count at 29 dishes, but it wasn't over yet. After the meal I accepted a smoke for company and learned that it was locally produced for export.
One of the attendants was sent out to collect two packets of cigarettes which were also to be a present for me on the occasion of the day.
I probably didn't explain why there were six candles on the cake, after all I turned 57. But I got the explanation. They had found out that it was my sixth birthday in China. Funny!
The last dish we got was a kind of soup with noodles. It was also made especially for me. The custom in China is that a mother cooks noodles for her children. With that, she wishes them a long life.
We had now become so good at eating with chopsticks that we were able to eat nuts, boiled fish, vegetables and spaghetti.
What a wonderful birthday — I will never forget it.
After a long and eventful day, sleep tasted good.
Although the thought of tomorrow scared me a little, it was exciting. Would we find the lady who remembered, and would we find the cemetery?
Early the next morning I woke up and went out for a walk. Outside the hotel, all the employees were lined up, while a superior babbled away. I went for a walk and when I came back they were still there in the same way. At last all the instructions had apparently been given, and they marched off in a long line.
After breakfast, things had to be settled before departure. But it took an insanely long time. We learned that something was missing from one of the minibars in one of the rooms. None of us Norwegians had taken anything, but finally they found out that one of the drivers had taken a beer without telling us. Things were settled and then we were ready to move on.
I was worried about what we would find this day. We knew we had to drive about half an hour further south. The traffic was heavy and the roads narrow, but the speed was still incredibly high.
Tore writes about what he observed: "It is noticeably quieter in the car today. Out on the roads, people are already on their feet, and it is crawling with people and vehicles. I see that AnWei is having a hard time. She wipes a tear now and then in secret. Could this be good for her? Yes, she told herself. This is the only way to process everything that has been pressing for so long. Now there is no question of stopping. But this morning she doesn't say much."
Arriving in Queshan, we were welcomed by the town's high lords, while the town's population thronged to rejoice. We were ushered into a conference room with a huge table. Here were cold water bottles and fruit, bananas and peaches.
Here we heard that they had found two who remembered the cemetery for foreigners. One was a man who remembered the place from when he was a child. He had drawn three lovely drawings for me: pictures of the cemetery, the church and the burial ground. Seeing him point out one of the graves and say it was my father's, (...) was a big and powerful experience.
The tears rained down.
We learned that the old lady was also coming. She was at the church for the service and was to come to the burial ground afterwards.
Then we went further into the village. People glared at us. I think it was the first time they saw foreigners. Now we also had Chinese television in tow. Lily had been interviewed when we were inside and had told my whole story. The cars drove as far as the road went, and then we walked the rest. The locals said that the old lady lived in a building that had been a nurses' home in 1940, and the hospital was directly across the courtyard.
Then we stood there and waited. Suddenly a car drove by.
It stopped, and out came a very old, white-haired lady with a cane. I wonder if she could remember anything, she looked very old! Yes, yes. We went over and greeted her. The interpreter said her name was Zhang Jingxiu and she was 88 years old. She looked straight at me with a surprisingly clear look, her face lit up, and via two interpreters she told me that I looked like my mother. She saw the picture of Mother and me and nodded in recognition. She said she remembered the day my father had been brought into the hospital. She had been an operating room nurse at the time. She remembered that he had gunshot wounds to the head and stomach, and his life was beyond saving.
- You shouldn't be sad, because your father is in heaven now, said
the 88-year-old lady who showed me my father's grave.
Then she pointed her cane up at the ground, and we strolled slowly upwards. In our company there was now a whole delegation: a Norwegian and a Chinese television team, delegates from the communist government and from the municipal council.
A little way up the hill the lady stopped, pointed with her cane and said: "Here he is buried - he lies to the east. Here is the head.
It lies so deep that even though there has been a house on top of it, it has never been dug up. He is still there.”
We found a bench to sit on - we suddenly heard the sound of hymn singing from the church nearby - it sounded like angelic singing and was incredibly beautiful.
Suddenly we heard hymns from the church nearby. It sounded as an angel song.
We sat for a long time holding each other, and she showered God's blessing on me.
As we sat there, she told us that during the funeral mother had given a beautiful speech. She remembered that mother had been standing there with a small child on her arm. That child was me.
It amazed me how strong mother must have been. Incredible!
Tore describes the incident in this way: "AnWei kneels down on the side of the road. Her father's grave. There is a dirt road, some rocks and a tree. But just the same, Gerhard Danielsen rests here. The man who sacrificed his own life so that his daughter would survive. I squatted there on the edge of the ditch, and as I sobbed, I put down the bouquet of love I had brought with me. I put it exactly where she had said the head was placed.
The old lady touched me and said: "You shouldn't be so sad, because your father is in heaven now."
While we sat there holding each other — we had been allowed to live. Greater sacrifice no man can make. Now the daughter lays a flower heart on the gravel above her father.
The father she never got to know. The goal has been reached, AnWei has found the answers. The last piece of the puzzle that has plagued her all her life has been added.
Many people gather around us. Everyone understands that this is something serious. The old woman starts to cry too. "I get so sad because you are sad," she says to AnWei. We'll be here for an hour."
Then I realised that the old lady was getting tired, and I was afraid this would be too much for her. I picked up the bouquet and gave it to her. She was very happy with it, but said that if I wanted it back, I could have it.
Fortunately, I insisted that she bring it. She looked very grateful.
Yes, one more thing she told me. She looked at the large cypresses that stood close by, and said that those trees had also stood there in 1940. Then they were the size of what now stood by the grave.
After she had gone on her way, I went and picked a twig to take home. Even now, many years later, it hangs on the wall. It's a small memory of a big moment.
Wish I could experience this! My heart was filled with a strange peace. The last piece of the puzzle had fallen into place. I was whole.
What a fantastic day! After lunch at the municipal hall, we travelled back to Zhengzhow and were accommodated in yet another luxury hotel. I slept like a child that night and could have slept longer when the alarm clock chimed at six o'clock.
Outside the city came to life, but inside the hotel it was not possible to get any food. The breakfast this day was a piece of cake!
Then it was time to fly back to Beijing again. Here we were tourists again for the rest of the day, with visits to the Friendship store, the silk market and Heavenly Peace Square.
Once back from the silk market I found that I needed a new bag, I had no room in my suitcase. I had bought five panda bears for the grandchildren, 13 t-shirts, two tea mugs, two kites, a dressing gown, four silk shirts, a dress, silk fabric and three silk jumpers.
Now I was really looking forward to coming home and playing Santa Claus. The prices in China were absolutely fabulously low.
On the last evening in China, we went to our regular cafe and ate sweet and sour pork fillet and rice. It tasted heavenly.
The next morning I was to get up at 5.30. The flight was due to leave at 9.15, and we had a long way home, all the way to the other side of the globe. It would be good to come home. I had a lot to tell, because I had had some wonderful days and experienced so much.
We arrived in Copenhagen, and my ticket was changed to Maersk and direct to Kjevik.
Once at home in Kjevik, I was met by Frithjof and my daughter Inger Synnøve, who welcomed me home.
Inger Synnøve had great news for me. She told me I was going to be a grandmother.
It was too strong for me, the emotions completely got the better of me, and I ran down to the WC under the pretext that I was going to pee.
I couldn't bear any more stress now. This had been an incredible trip and life had taken on a new dimension.
Tore writes in his book: "AnWei had a summer she will never forget. When she was involved in the recording of the studio part of 'Tore på sporet' in Trondheim, she said that she had found a peace she had never experienced before. The trip had done her a lot of good ...
Over 1,145,000 people watched AnWei's return to China. Maybe they also learned something?”
Another new experience awaited me. Because while broadcasting in Trondheim, Tore had got hold of Sandra (my best friend) and her husband, who came home to Kristiansand afterwards. Fantastic. We reminisced and cried and sang.
It did so well.
#
I just have to say thank you to Tore for such a wonderful trip and
incredibly many good experiences. Finally, I have become a human hero.
